Thursday, October 1, 2009

Candy Coated Bitch

When it comes to matters of life and love, I've always been rather impulsive. I tend to make decisions at the drop of a hat and not always think through what I'm about to do. I buntly stopped returning Mr. A's calls a month ago when he ditched our plans together for his birthday so that he could drink and go fishing with his friends. It's really not so bad. I mean, it was his birthday.. but it was the circumstances surrounding the situation that validated my choice.

I happened to be in a pretty nasty car accident back in March. It essentially turned my whole word upside down. He stood by me in the months after as I regained my life and self again. I thought this was an act of love. As things unfolded, I learned this was an act of lies.

[details removed due to their private nature]

I'm a pretty good girlfriend. I'm tolerant of little things that I would normally hate in a person. I was totally open to hanging around with his friends even though I couldn't go out with mine without having him send someone to spy on me. I let go that he isn't built like a greek god as I prefer my men to be. I can even put aside that he has no ambition to do something real with his life. I, however, take quite good care of my body and how I look. He definitely was shooting a little out of his league. I have ambitions, dreams, and goals for my life! I have lots of hobbies and am interested in lots of things. I love children and hope to be an amazing mother one day.. and I want to look damn good doing it! I spoil my boyfriends in the bedroom and am pretty good at gift giving. Even though, despite hundreds of hints, he hardly could get gifts right. I bought him a Playstation 3 and a pair of Serengeti Aviators for his birthday after he had hinted that he wanted a pair. That sounds like a lot of compromise for one girl. No girl should set aside her girlhood fantasies to hopefully be happy. The key word here is hopeful. I understand that love isn't perfect. But, as far as I am concerned, I was damn close to it!! Both parties in a relationship making equal compromises would be absolute perfection!

He seems to be alright with the fact that I am not speaking to him. He hasn't called me either except for a few messages he left when he was clearly heavily intoxicated. I want nothing to do with him anymore. I have called him several times to ask him for my personal belongings back but to no avail. I have no idea what to do to get my things back without trespassing on his property. They say you have to catch flies with honey... then others say the only way to get the attention of an asshole is to be a bitch yourself!

Perhaps I should let go of my material posessions the way I have let go of him..... but that's hard; they are more important.